transitioning

shonk approved! she/her?
too queer?
The tizu timeline: A random list of things which led me here, some more important than others. Some of these items may have ever so slightly wrong dates or somewhat discrepant stories, my memory is not perfect.

  1. 2021

    I adopted my first Blahaj as an impulse buy. I loved him. I eventually passed him along to my brother.

  2. June 2023

    Craving for more, I bought a second Blahaj and two small ones.

  3. 2023

    I acquired a lovely boyfriend.

  4. Winter 2023

    I lost a bet and had to buy a pair of thigh-highs. Upon arrival I was quite surprised - they were really comfy. I quite liked them, so I eventually wore them daily (within my apartment).

  5. January 2024

    To complement my femboy look, I bought a skirt. I felt so masc :3

  6. 18 January 2023

    I moved out. I no longer had to hide things I bought, as I had no one to judge me anymore.

  7. February 2024

    I noticed I can code more intelligently while wearing my thigh-highs. This still applies, and I don't know why. Might just be a placebo.

  8. Summer 2024

    I got jokingly called a girl. My brain froze for what felt like eternity. That kinda flustered me, but also made me euphoric and smile. However, deep down, something felt weird about this..

  9. 30 July 2024

    Dream journal time.. I 'woke up as a girl and was really happy that I did so'. I didn't think much of it, to be honest. Dreams!

  10. Fall 2024

    I considered going outside in my femboy clothes to see how others would react, but I was too shy, so I just didn't.

  11. 16 March 2025

    According to my dream journal, 'I dreamed that I went outside, to work, shopping, and did pretty much everything else in my fem clothes and nobody judged me'.

  12. ~28 March 2025

    I was in a rush, so I had no time to change my clothes. So, I went shopping with my femboy outfit. Nobody judged me. Deja vu. The confidence boost this gave me was actually quite helpful - I no longer felt like I was forced to stay inside my apt while dressed like this.

  13. 29 March 2025

    I was looking at some SFW femboy posts when someone mentioned they're on HRT. Eh, whatever.

  14. 30 March 2025

    I woke up with an identity crisis. Am I even male? Am I truly a femboy, and not just an unhatched egg trying to lessen the gap by being a 'fake' girl? Why am I like this???

  15. 4 April 2025

    I talked to a friend about this, and came to the conclusion that I might just be transgender. I was going to give myself a few nights to think about it though...

  16. 4 April 2025

    Oh well. I changed my online pronouns to she/her and was impressed as to how people actually reacted. Not a single negative reaction, from what I can tell. Now, I do have to admit, people calling me a girl makes me kinda get euphoric & blush, but that's fine. Probably a good thing.

  17. 5 April 2025

    My SO asked me if my pronouns I used in discord meant anything, and I said that I might be transgender, and want to see how people react. This, for some reason unbeknownst to me, made him cry & possibly break up with me. I assure you it's not in his best interest either, something he doesn't want to tell me is preventing him though :(

  18. 13 April 2025

    We both agreed that it is probably a better decision to break up, in favor of us enjoying our lives. We'll probably continue talking, but we're no longer in a relationship.

  19. April 2025

    People kept calling me cute... I'm not, my brain won't let me accept that :3

  20. Future

    Consider HRT.

  21. Future

    Consider coming out to more IRL people.

  22. Future

    Consider how I want to be gendered in the future. At the moment I'm kind of considering being a she/her during the day and a femboy he/him after dark? I'm not sure if that makes any sense tbh.

  23. Future

    Move out (into another country) and see if I can find alike people.